Do you ever have the feeling that you are in somewhat of a haze? You know what you are supposed to be doing with your life, but your path is somewhat of a mist? You are technically doing the right things, but you're missing the boat by seconds. I have to admit I feel this way sometimes. I'm going to get deep and talk about life for a minute.
Those of us who have a testimony of our Lord Jesus Christ and his gospel know how we are supposed to live. We know the commandments, we know are covenants, and all the responsibilies that go along with them. I truly believe that most of us try to live the best life we can, whether we are religious or not. But how often do we truly examine our lives? Take stock in all that we are doing. And truly think about what we truly should be doing.
I've been thinking about this the last few days. I took a trip down to my brother-in-laws office (my dentist), with my other brother-in-law. So we had at least an hour and a half to talk. Needless to say, conversation came up about being prepared and preparing our families for a successful life. By this I mean: testimony, schooling, food storage, etc. You get the idea. Our conversation got me to thinking. Am I really doing all that I should to live my life as Heavenly Father would have me? Are my priorities in line approriately?
My answer brings me back to my opening paragraph. A mist. I'm not sure, was my answer. I obey the commandments, read my scriptures, keep my covenants, go to church, try to do what is right, etc, etc. But am I truly doing all that I can to prepare myself and my children? Probably not. As time goes on and the world gets scarier, I can't help but think that we will have to stand out from the rest of the world. We will truly have to be a light on a hill shining forth truth, knowledge and goodness. To steal a line from my brother-in-law, "the time for sitting on fences is over". I don't feel that I sit on the fence, but I do know there is more I should be doing personally and with my family. I need to be less afraid of sharing the gospel. Light and knowledge should not be hidden. Why am I so afraid to share it? Truth and light bring true joy and happiness, why is it so hard to give that to others? If I have a testimony of eternal life and exaltation, why can't I share that with the people who are most dear to me in this world? I know that there is more I can do. I can be a more attentive mother. Teach my children better and focus on teaching them the gospel. I can study the scriptures better and participate more. I can love more and not be judgemental of others.
As a late New Year's resolution, I plan to look at my life microscopically and rededicate myself to live the best life that I can. So that I hopefully will look back and not have any regrets. I will know that I not only knew what to do to be faithful, loving and strong, but that I actually did it!
2 comments:
first of all, i feel so blessed to have friends who are continually trying to improve themselves. what great examples we have all around us. what a great support we are to one another. so many times i walk away from my friends thinking..wow I need to do better because of their example. I feel the same as you..sometimes i feel like i need to walk the walk more than i talk the talk. i am like you..on the outside i am doing all the right things (mostly) but inside i know i can be doing better. i am grateful for that prick in my conscience that reminds me to do better. at the same time we need to remember "line upon line" we cant do it all overnight and sometimes we need to start with the small and simple things and work our way into perfection (if that ever happens!) but sometimes it's the small and simple things that i have the hardest time with.
Hey Brooke,
I love your blog. It's so fun!
You never know what's going to happen when you get in a car with Doug... He has a tendency of saying things that gets people thinking. I think those pinpricks to the soul are good to keep us on our toes though. I sure need them on a regular basis. You are such an example to me, and constantly amaze me by all that you are able to do. I'm excited to be able to keep tabs with you better via your blog.
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